You’re in high school, you’re young, you’re impressionable. Your mom is super controlling over who you hang around. You hate it, so you ignore her, as most teenagers do. She says, “You become the people you surround yourself by.” You roll your eyes and continue to hang out with the same people. It all ends a little different but most times, nothing but destruction comes from that relationship with those people.
We have all been there, hung around the “wrong” people. People who weren’t healthy for us, encouraged bad habits, bad mindsets and all-around negativity. People who were detrimental to our growth. They played it off as fun, as letting “loose.” You saw the things they were doing, the things you would never do or become. Their choices weren’t yours. You wouldn’t do what they did, say what they said, think the way they did. Our brains don’t work that way though.
15-year-old me is screaming right now. No no, no, silly Paige, I can be aware of what not to do, let them do them and still be my own person….. Right?
No, a million times no. I will argue this until I am blue in the face.
Simple, you become who you surround yourself with. The bad habits, the negativity, the excuses and so much more. No one is perfect, I am not here to point that out. I am not living in an alternate reality where all is unicorns, rainbows and candy. My blogs are to bring awareness and understanding that there is ALWAYS room for growth and change, even when we carry our own toxic traits. I am not saying we mirror every single aspect of what they do/say/think as a whole, though sometimes you can. This is applicable in so many different forms, I mean A TON! Some things include: values, morals, priorities, habits, hobbies, lifestyles. It doesn’t mean you pick up their every characteristic. Toxic traits are a detriment to your own values, morals, thoughts, and priorities. They affect you, whether you see it or not. It is when we choose to ignore them that they consume us. Same for the people you surround yourself with. Don’t let others lack of motivation put a damper on your drive for success. Don’t let others constant negativity put a damper on your positive outlook. Don’t let others close-mindedness conquer your openness for change and growth. All these toxic traits I speak of are the easy way out. It takes effort and constant work to live a fulfilling, evolving, growth filled, positive life. It is just up to us to take action to see result. The thing is, in any relationship there should always be encouragement for growth, in any form. When there isn’t, that is toxicity. Any relationship should encourage growth, change, success, positivity, encouragement, support, acceptance and so much more. If not, that isn’t much of a relationship. It’s hard to hear, because sometimes it is the people “closest” to us that may be the most detrimental. We have to realize, length of relationships means nothing, how much you all have been through together and all those cliché sayings, mean nothing when the true value/foundation of a relationship isn’t there. We need to hold our self-worth higher than keeping around toxic people for these things. Maybe this means having a simple conversation about how you can work together to help each other break the bad habits of these toxic traits. I am not saying go cut off all the relationships that have anything wrong with them, because we all know, no perfect relationship exists. I am saying be aware, be present, be open to the thought of exploring who you surround yourself by, because at the end of the day, your actions and thoughts depend on it.
As always,
Be proud of yourself. Be proud of the work invested to break toxic traits and bad habits. Be proud of the people around you who strive for change and growth. Be proud of being aware of yourself and holding true to yourself. Be proud of change and growth, always.
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