*Insert situation*
*Insert concern about someone’s feelings*
*Insert overthinking*
*Insert compromising your own decisions/actions because of said persons feelings*
We have all been there. Duh, we are human, we aren’t heartless. But I am here to tell you, no more… Here is why:
We have always been raised to be accommodating to other’s feelings. Unfortunately, the relationship that we have with other’s emotions oftentimes becomes turbulent.
We never have control over how someone is going to feel or react, EVER. This is where you go, wait a minute…. “So, if I say *insert hurtful/negative comment* to Carol. I don’t have to take responsibility for her being upset?” WRONG, this isn’t a way to justify you saying literally whatever you think. This doesn’t mean become senseless to everyone and play it off as you can’t control their emotions. Maybe that wasn’t the best example. Stay with me, I promise this makes more sense as you read.
Let’s try this- It embodies healthy boundaries. Like when that ex text you about how crappy you made them for so long. Ehhh, they decided (I use it loosely, not decided but didn’t take responsibility to change that long-term emotion) to feel that way. I know the people who have been through heartbreak or have been hurt (you mean every human ever, Paige?) are going to come for me. BUT, you have to admit it’s true to a certain point. You have to realize you are the one that is going to change how you feel. You are in control of YOUR (key word: your) reaction and/or feelings. If being sad, is how you want to feel, feel it. This is not the same thing as invalidating yours/others feelings, this is simply stating you are in control of how you feel. So yes, you choose to be sad and/or mad (for an extended amount of time) and THAT IS OKAY. I want to add in, our instant feeling as a reaction isn’t something we have full ability to control, but you can break that feeling down once it is prominent and then that’s when you evaluate what to do next. Change it, adjust it, whatever it may me. Now, what isn’t okay is for us to make others feel responsible for our feelings as a whole. At this point, you’re probably thinking along the lines of “how the *beep* do I not feel sad when I get dumped after 7 years?” AH, well kind of like my last blog…… Actions=Results. If you don’t take initiative to change how you feel (action), how will you ever get over it (result)? It takes an immense amount of work and time. I know it may sound crazy but imagine living your whole life letting everyone control your emotions like puppets. Well, that isn’t living. It is healthy for us to always be aware of this. Anxiety and depression have a huge role in this and make it seem impossible. I PROMISE you, you are stronger. You deserve the freedom to have control of your own emotions, your body- your mind- your emotions.
So, next time someone comes around trying to put responsibility on YOU for THEIR emotions. Tell them to read this post. ;)
AS ALWAYS:
Be proud of yourself. Be proud of change. Be proud of taking control of your emotions. Be proud of erupting the pretense anxiety/depression portrays of giving others control of our emotions. Be proud of no longer compromising yourself for others emotions. Be proud of the simple fact you are able to make this change, now or later.
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